Italian Virgin « Result #1 on Mar 17, 2009, 2:25am »
Maria just got married and being a traditional Italian she was still a virgin and very inexperienced around men. So, on her wedding night, while staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. Don't worry Maria,' says the mother. 'Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you.'
So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, 'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest.' 'Don't worry, Maria,' says his mother. 'All good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you.'
So up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again Maria ran downstairs to her mother. 'Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs.' 'Don't worry Maria. All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take good care of you.
'So, up she went again. When she got up there, Tony took off his socks, and on his left foot he was missing the better part of three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs.
A Short Holiday « Result #2 on Mar 17, 2009, 2:14am »
Alan worked in an office in the city. He worked very hard and really looked forward to his holidays.
¡¡¡¡He usually went to the seaside, but one year he saw an ad in a newspaper "Enjoy country life. Spend a few weeks at Willow Farm. Good food, fresh air, horse riding, walking, fishing. Reasonable prices ."
¡¡¡¡" This sounds like a good idea." he thought, " I' 11 spend a month at Willow Farm. I'll enjoy horse riding, walking and fishing. They'll make a change from sitting by the seaside.
¡¡¡¡Four days later he returned home.
¡¡¡¡"What' s wrong with Willow Farm ?" his friend asked him. " Didn't you enjoy country life ?"
¡¡¡¡"Country life was fine," Alan said." But there was another problem.
¡¡¡¡"Oh, what?"
¡¡¡¡Well, the first day I was there a sheep died, and we had roast lamb for dinner.
¡¡¡¡“Fresh meat is the best.”_"I know, but on the second day a cow died, and we had roast beef for dinner. "
¡¡¡¡"Lucky you!"
¡¡¡¡"You don't understand," Alan said." On the third day a pig died and we had roast pork for dinner."
¡¡¡¡" A different roast every day." Jack exclaimed.
¡¡¡¡"Let me finish," Alan said." On the fourth day the farmer died and I didn't dare stay for dinner!"
Puppies For Sale « Result #3 on Mar 2, 2009, 8:58pm »
A store owner was tacking a sign above his door that read ¡°Puppies For Sale.¡± Signs like that have a way of attracting small children, and sure enough, a little boy appeared under the store owner¡¯s sign. ¡°How much are you going to sell the puppies for?¡± he asked.
The store owner replied, wow power leveling,¡°Anywhere from $30 to $50.¡±
The little boy reached in his pocket and pulled out some change. ¡°I have $2.37,¡± he said. ¡°Can I please look at them?¡±
The store owner smiled and whistled and out of the kennel came Lady, who ran down the aisle of his store followed by five teeny tiny balls of fur. One puppy was lagging considerable behind. Immediately the little boy singled out the lagging limping puppy and said, wow power leveling,¡°What¡¯s wrong with that little dog?¡±
The store owner explained that the veterinarian had examined the little puppy and had discovered it didn¡¯t have a hip socket. It would always limp. It would always be lame. The little boy became excited. ¡°That¡¯s the little puppy that I want to buy.¡±
The store owner said, ¡°No, you don¡¯t want to buy that little dog. If you really want him, I¡¯ll just give him to you.¡±
The little boy got quite upset. He looked straight into the store owner¡¯s eyes, pointing his finger and said, wow power leveling,¡°I don¡¯t want you to give him to me. That little dog is worth every bit as much as all the other dogs and I¡¯ll pay full price. In fact I¡¯ll give you $2.37 now, and 50 cents a month until I have him paid for.
The store owner countered, wow gold,¡°You really don¡¯t want to buy this little dog. He is never going to be able to jump and play with you like the other puppies.¡±
To this, the little boy reached down and rolled up his pant leg to reveal a badly twisted,wow gold, crippled left leg supported by a big metal brace. He looked up at the store owner and softly replied, ¡°Well,wow gold, I don¡¯t run so well myself, and the little puppy will need someone who understands!¡±
FMA World Username: Hriky Full Name: Tapio Alchemist Name: Loyalty: Himself
Race: Human Age: 12 Height: 5’1.3” feet Weight: 108 lbs Sex: Male
Apperance: Eye color: Hazel Hair color: Brown Hair Style: Under a hat, messing and coming down along his head. Clothing: Wears a brown hat with goggles on them, a shirt button up shirt and brown pants, and a glove on one hand with a Alchemy circle on it. Pic(optional):
Weapons: N/A
Pet Breed: Spider Monkey Pet gender: Male Pet name: Enma
Alchemic Power: Can work with plants and temporary artificial life out of machines. Other Abilites: Fighting Background: N/A
Family: Norma, his younger sister, Mikuto his mother and Jalu his father, all alive.
Likes: Nature, chocolate, fun games. Dislikes: The pointless lose of life, untrustful people. Personality: Tapio is a quite odd person. He has been like this almost all of his life. Usually when he first meets someone he doesn't know he would be cheery and unnaturally happy to see them until he gets to the point of asking their business which is where he is serious. He still has the happiness around him but he knows when to be serious. He doesn't do this if he knows who is coming to see him and that it is part of politics or so. Being as old as he is he has mass amounts of wisdom but he attentions to act more of his appearance then actually age. It was just something that stuck with him. He is a person who likes the thrill of a combat and war but always dreads the loses after it. He welcomes requests from normal people a lot but always thinking about them and sometimes accepting them.
History: Wondrously, waiting, watching, listening. Those were all things the child did with it’s time. Couldn’t do anything without permission, could barely breath without being told how to. This was how Tapio lived a lot of his live through out his childhood. His mother, Mikuto, was always on top of him about everything he did. She was trying to raise the perfect child to have the perfect live in his future. Tapio couldn’t make his own decisions, and if he did he was scolded for it. This went on until he was fiver years old, almost six. That was when his sister, Norma was born. He was left alone for many years after that. His parents were too focused on the baby for him. He had to thank his sister for this. He was barely aware of it at first because of his young age but he was soon able to do what he wanted to do himself.
He learned how to read at an early age always stealing books from his father’s book shelf. Most of them were too hard for him to understand but he was curious beyond limits. It took almost a year of trying to read the same book over and over again. He asked many times what words were and what they meant. It was soon enough that he became a literate at the age of seven. He didn’t bother to brag about it to his parents, he didn’t want to. The attention could just be kept away from him and he gladly accepted that. Plus, even if he tried he knew he would be ignored for Norma. But after a while attention would soon shift back to him once she became old enough.
That time came later then he expected but he was glad for that. This allowed him to leave the house alone. One of the times he was out he saw some older man doing something with chalk. He thought that people shouldn’t be drawing on the streets. He watched with a small crowd of people as he continued to draw. He made an odd circle around what looked like sand. After the circle was finished the man added something else to the sand pile, looked like more sand. After a minute of waiting the man put his palms onto the ground. Blue lightning surged from the ground all along the circle. Tapio watched wide eyed at the feat. He was truly amazed; of course it was easy to amaze a seven and a half year old child. But the thing that fascinated him the most of what happened to the sand, it turned into an hour glass. That was his first time seeing alchemy. He could barely even begin to understand what just happened. Only after a few seconds he ran out and asked the person what he did.
The man told him almost everything while explaining to a few others who were trying to learn. Tapio tried to learn all of this in one try but it didn’t stick as easily as he hoped. But he still tried hard for weeks trying to remember the circle. He had had to ask more people about it. It only took a while for him to learn more. He asked almost anyone he saw using alchemy. After two years of studying it he had finally gotten it down. It was simple for him but he wasn’t very good. But by the time he turned twelve he looked towards becoming better at it. His first guess was to become a State Alchemist, but he didn’t want to wait all the years it would take, he wasn’t likely to get it at his age. So the only thing he could do was practice at it.
Jigen Elric « Result #10 on Apr 30, 2008, 3:03am »
FMA World Username: cucucachu Full Name: Jigen elric Alchemist Name: (Will be given by staff member if your an alchemist.) Homunculi Name: (If your Rping as a Homunculi.) Loyalty: the state
Race: human Age: 21 Height:6'6 Weight: 140 Sex: male
Apperance: he wears has scruffy blond hair and blue eyes.when the ishbalins raided Jigen's home and burned it down the only thing that survived was a box mark "for Jigen when he leaves him"Jigen opened it and found the cloths he wears to this day.he wears a a long red cloak with a cross with a snake rapped around the base but arching over the top on the back. a black under shirt and black pants with black boots with a transmutation circle on the bottom allowing him to walk on calm water and 2 white gloves that are coated in chalk to cover his automail arm Pic(optional): (A picture of he/she if you have one.)
Weapons: a large staff about 4-5 feet long and a small pack around his belt with little black balls filled with water he uses them in water alchemy Weapon's pic: (optional)
Pet: a small miniature pincher(a dog) Pet Name: spitfire Pet Pic: (optional)
Alchemic Power: his family inherited a ability to clap and do minor transmutations Jigen harnessed that by coating his gloves in chalk when he claps he can move the chalk around to form a transmutation circle the ability is said to stem from clap alchemy Homunculi Power: (If you a Homunculi you have one.) Ourobors Tattoo Location: (Only Homunculus have one.) Other Abilites: (If you have any.) Fighting Background: jetkundo,judo,and ninjutsu
Family: none but his family's head is said to be the great alchemist edward elric but the only proof is the family name
Likes: water swimming, Dislikes: ignorance and optomists Personality: very quite and is able to keep his cool though almost anything and I mean anything,put a gun to his head and he will they "Well are you going to squeeze the trigger cause I hate to wait".he is a all around genius mainly when it comes to alchemy he studied to from age 3
History:Jigen was born to two small farmers his father a failed alchemist tried to teach his son the trade he failed at reading him alchemy books when he was little his first word was "transmute" then during a ishbalin raid his family was killed the house collapsed on his right arm after killing his family the ishbalins circled around him but a unnamed alchemist in a black cloak swooped down drew a transmutation circle on the ground and soon a wall of water surrounded them Jigen then pass out.after he awoke he was in a unknown city with 2 automail engineers he asked them to take off the plastic prosthetics they had given him and replace it with automail they obligined Jigen later found out that those automail engineers were the best in the world.the arm they gave Jigen had about 2X the strength of a normal arm but other then that it was normal.Jigen then whent to central at age 14 and impressed a higher up with his water alchemy that he was given state alchemist certification and now he wanders from town to town trying to find the person who saved his life
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